


Fair Is F.O.W.L.

by orphan_account



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 18:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>F.O.W.L. High Command stages an abduction to lure Darkwing Duck into revealing his alter ego. However, when the "hostage" is High Command member Belle Beakford, and Steelbeak lets Gizmoduck rescue her instead, things go awry. Prequel to "The Lying Game," coming soon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written in 2007, before the recent DWD comics (which I haven't read) came out.
> 
> When the commanders of F.O.W.L. are shown in silhouette, sometimes the one with the lumpy head has a male voice, and sometimes a female voice.  In this story, that particular commander is actually a pair of twins.  Also, in this story Gizmoduck knows Darkwing's true identity and vice versa

"Certainly _not_."  Belle Beakford, one-fourth of the high command of the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny, bared her rather formidable teeth at the other three-fourths.

"I thought we were in agreement about this."  Commander Chogan folded his arms across his chest and glared at her.

"We're in agreement that we need to discover Darkwing Duck's true identity in order to eliminate him," Belle spat.  "What I _don't_ agree on is that this is best accomplished by me putting on a dress and seducing him!"

"No one said you had to seduce him," corrected the eldest of the four, Commander Aquila.  "Simply allow yourself to be rescued by him, and convince him to reveal his alter ego with your. . . ah, feminine wiles," he finished rather weakly as he eyed the distinctly unfeminine duck before him.

"This is ridiculous!" Belle exploded.  She turned on her twin brother Beau, the last member of the quartet, and the youngest by two minutes.  He was also the one who had suggested that she play the role of damsel in distress.  "And _you_ \-- you know I don't even _own_ a dress!"

"Oh, come on, sis."  Beau leaned back in his chair and chuckled, infuriatingly casual.  "Our only other female agent at the moment is Ammonia Pine, and you _can't_ expect that self-absorbed halfwit to let himself fall for _her_."

"And you assume he'll think I'm an improvement?"  Belle forced herself to lean back as well, though she gripped the arms of her chair so tightly, her nails cut into the armrests.  "In case you've forgotten, I look just like _you_."

It was the truth; despite being fraternal twins, Belle and Beau were nearly identical in appearance save for gender.  Both had short beaks with unusually sharp teeth, both were wiry and rather short, and both had rather unfortunately shaped heads that angled to one side.  In fact, as children before Beau's voice had deepened and Belle had developed breasts (though she hadn't developed a helluva lot, Beau had pointed out in their frequent teenaged battles), most people could only tell them apart by the direction of the tops of their heads: Belle's pointed to the left, and Beau's to the right.

When the two had joined F.O.W.L. in the last days of its previous commander, Dr. NoGood, their similarities had been the butt of more than a few jokes.  However, once they had climbed the ranks to become two of the leaders of the now jointly-governed and US-based organization, their appearance was useful.  High Command had decided that, much like members of the national government, they shouldn't expose themselves to the possibility of total annihilation by all appearing in the same place at the same time.  While they still met privately as a group, only three would be present at a time for broadcasts to their agents.  Thus, the twins took turns appearing in the broadcasts, and only F.O.W.L.'s top agents even knew that there were four members of High Command instead of only three.  (And those who didn't weren't bright enough to notice that the short, duck-shaped silhouette had two different voices and a head that changed directions at random intervals.)

"You'll be in disguise, of course," Chogan put in before Beau could retort.  "We can't take the chance that Darkwing Duck would recognize you, then or later.  As you said yourself, you'll wear a dress, along with a wig and a hat to hide-- I mean, disguise your head."

"There's got to be _somebody_ else who can do this."  Belle looked at her brother again, practically shooting daggers from her eyes.  "What about that insipid little wife of yours?"

For the first time that afternoon, Beau dropped the air of amused nonchalance and leaned forward in his chair, glaring.  "You know perfectly well that Cheryl doesn't know about F.O.W.L."

"Who said she has to know?"  Belle shrugged her sharp shoulders archly, trying to ignore the vindictive pleasure she felt at finally drawing his ire.  "We can just bug her and stick her out there for that so-called hero to rescue.  She's too dim to even know what's going on."

"I won't have her exposed to anything involving F.O.W.L.," Beau snapped, "and _especially_ not Agent Steelbeak."

"Steelbeak?"  Belle bit back a groan.  The situation was getting worse by the minute.  "What's he got to do with it?"

"We've decided that Darkwing Duck will rescue you from _him_ ," Aquila responded.  "We've already arranged for Steelbeak to stage a heist at the First Bank of St. Canard, where you will be posing as a customer.  He'll take you as a hostage, and of course Darkwing will show up to rescue you.  In fact, he's probably already aware of the so-called robbery."

"You three already had this all planned out, didn't you?"  Belle raked a hand through her head-feathers in repressed fury.  "Do you have any idea how _sexist_ this entire plan is?  The idea of using a woman as bait--"

"Tell you what, sis," Beau said, having regained his composure, "if you can come up with a better way to uncover Darkwing Dud's identity before tomorrow afternoon, you're off the hook.  Otherwise, you'd better go dress-shopping.  You're due at the bank at 3:15, sharp."

"Please, Agent Beakford," Chogan said more diplomatically, "it's for the good of the organization.  Darkwing Duck is currently our greatest impediment, and it seems that the only way we can eliminate him is to attack him when he's off-guard, as a civilian."

Aquila added, "You can aid F.O.W.L. where the rest of us cannot."

Belle arched an eyebrow.  "You're appealing to my sense of altruism?  That's got to be against F.O.W.L. directives."  She pushed her chair back from the command table and stood, hands on her bony hips.  "Fine, but only because it will make things easier for us in the long run.  But really, does it _have_ to be Agent Steelbeak?"

\--

"Hey Drake, did you see the classifieds today?"  Launchpad leaned over and rattled the newspaper at Drake Mallard.

"Launchpad, for the last time, I'm busy."  Drake shoved his friend and erstwhile sidekick's hand out of the way and turned back to his adopted daughter, Gosalyn.  "Now where were we?"

"Long division," the red-headed girl sulked.

"Yes, erm, let's see."  Drake took a deep breath and tapped Gosalyn's homework with a pencil.  "Seven into thirty, carry the two--"

"What two?  There isn't any two!" Gosalyn protested.  "You don't know how to do it, do you?"

"Of course I do!  I'm just, uh, testing you to see if _you_ know how to do it," Drake declared, then quickly turned back to Launchpad.  "So what's so interesting in the classifieds?"

"This!"  Launchpad pointed at one of the ads, printed under the miscellaneous "Of Interest" section.

"'A robbery is announced,'" Drake read aloud.  "'Agent Steelbeak of F.O.W.L. cordially invites Darkwing Duck to a heist of the First Bank of St. Canard at 3:15 pm, tomorrow afternoon.  Formal attire, hostages will be taken.'"

"That's got to be some kind of joke, right?" Gosalyn grimaced.

"Maybe not!"  Drake threw down the paper and jumped up from his chair, pacing back and forth.  "It's reverse psychology!  Steelbeak put that ad in the paper so I would _think_ it's a joke, to throw me off guard!  Unless-- unless it really _is_ a joke, and he did it so that I would think he just _wanted_ me to think it's a joke.  Or maybe he wanted me to think that he wanted me to think it's a joke.  Or--"

"Oh, just go already!"  Gosalyn clapped her hands to the sides of her head.

"Right!"  Drake darted over to the chairs that led to the secret passageway to his hideout.  "I've got to alert S.H.U.S.H.-- or rather _Darkwing Duck_ does. "  He plopped down in one chair and raised his fist over the statue of Basil of Baker Street which stood on the table between the two seats.  "And _you've_ got to finish your homework, young lady," he reminded Gosalyn before he brought his fist down on Basil's head and disappeared with a flip of the chairs.

"I hope this isn't some kind of trap," Launchpad mused once Drake was gone.  "Whoever heard of advertisin' a robbery?"

"Good point."  Gosalyn frowned down at her math book a moment, then brightened.  "I know!  I'll go with you, in case you need help!"

"You know your dad won't let you come," Launchpad protested.

"Has that ever stopped me before?"

"Well, no."  Launchpad wracked his brain for a way to make the girl stay at home.  As helpful as Gosalyn had been on past cases, he felt that it was his duty as a loyal sidekick to make her do what Darkwing would want.  "But if you came with us in the Ratcatcher, and it _is_ a trap, we'd all get caught together.  We need someone who can sneak in from another direction.  Someone with their own transportation."

"Great!  I'll use my skateboard!" Gosalyn said cheerfully.

Launchpad cringed and tried the direct approach.  "Look, Gosalyn, you'd really better stay at home.  If it _is_ Steelbeak, he'll have all those Eggheads--"

"Eggmen," Gosalyn corrected.

"Right, Eggmen with him.  We'll be way out-numbered-- you'd have to be a superhero too, to outmaneuver all of them."

"Hmm.  A superhero, hunh?"  Launchpad half-expected Gosalyn to tie the tablecloth around her shoulders and declare herself a superhero, but instead she only said, "Why don't we get more superheroes then?  Let's call the Justice Ducks!"

Hiding a sigh of relief at having convinced her not to tag along, he nevertheless had to ask, "How?  Neptunia could be in any ocean in the world right now.  And I don't know how much help she would be on dry land, against Steelbeak."

"Yeah, I guess you're right.  And I don't think Stegmutt would do a lot of good either.  He'd just break everything."  Gosalyn's small shoulders slumped.  "And Dad would never let us call anyone for help anyway."

Still, the more he thought about it, the better Launchpad liked the idea of rounding up some other crime fighters for backup.  "Who said he has to know?" the pilot asked.

Gosalyn looked at him in amazement, then grinned.  "You're starting to think like me!  If Morgana just _happened_ to show up here tomorrow afternoon, Dad couldn't just leave her behind while he goes off on a big adventure."

Launchpad grinned right back.  "And if Gizmoduck just _happened_ to hear about this ad, of course he'd be duty-bound to show up and help!  I'll call Fenton right after you call Morgana."

Gosalyn nodded and hopped up to get the phone, long division forgotten.  "You know," she said, pausing in the doorway and beaming at her father's sidekick, "we make a pretty good team."

\--

As she stood over her stove that evening, Belle scrolled through F.O.W.L.'s database on her laptop, studying the organization's files on Darkwing Duck.  "If I can just find some other clue to his identity, then I won't have to go through this farce," she muttered to the pot of simmering stock that was going to become part of the risotto she was cooking.  It bubbled encouragingly.

Belle poured a half-cup of the liquid into another pot, this one filled with rice, then began scanning the available photos of Darkwing while she waited for the rice to absorb the liquid.  There were quite a few photos to look at, thanks to the super-hero's enormous ego and penchant for posing in front of the cameras.  None, however, gave the slightest indication of what the duck looked like without his mask.

However, Belle paused when she got to the third page of images.  At the very top was a snapshot that showed not only Darkwing, but also that bumbler he called a sidekick.  She hadn't paid the taller, red-headed duck much attention in the past, but something about him jogged her memory now.  Belle pondered the significance of the guy as she ladled more stock into her rice.  Why did he look so familiar?

Then it hit her.  She minimized Darkwing's profile and instead pulled up that of Bruno Von Beak, a double agent who had worked for F.O.W.L. under NoGood's command.

 _That's he_ , Belle thought in amazement as she stared at the dark-haired duck's portrait.  But then she began reading his profile and realized that the two weren't the same after all.  Some years ago, an almost perfect double of Von Beak had been discovered, and he had impersonated the double agent briefly in an attempt to stop NoGood and F.O.W.L.  With the help of the traitorous F.O.W.L. agent Feathers Galore, Bruno's doppelganger had killed NoGood, inadvertently opening the door for the eventual rise of High Command-- including Belle herself.

 _That's why he looks so familiar-- Darkwing Duck's sidekick is the same guy who killed Dr. NoGood._   Belle laughed aloud, exposing her sharp teeth as she dumped the rest of the stock into the rice with one hand, using the other to switch back to Darkwing's profile after ascertaining the man's name from Von Beak's information.  _And none of us ever gave him so much as a second look._

"Launchpad McQuack, hunh?" she murmured as she dug a St. Canard phone book out of a drawer.  To her disappointment, there were no McQuacks listed-- but at least knowing the sidekick's name gave her more information than when she had started.

 _Too bad it's not enough to keep me from being bait._   Belle dumped a half-cup of parmesan into her risotto and switched the stove off as she stirred it.  "Damn Beau anyway," she growled as she clenched the spoon in her fist.  "Next time, _he's_ wearing the dress."

\--

Just as Gosalyn got off the phone with Morgana, Drake returned from his hideout, already boasting about how J. Gander Hooter had called him "indispensible" to S.H.U.S.H.  As they were setting the table for dinner, Gosalyn managed to whisper to Launchpad that Morgana had agreed to turn up at the Mallard residence the next afternoon.  Still, Launchpad didn't get a chance to call Fenton Crackshell, Gizmoduck's meek alter ego, until late that evening after Drake had gone to bed, declaring that he was taking the night off to rest up for the foiling of Steelbeak's plans.

It took Launchpad another hour to find Fenton's phone number in the wreck of his bedroom over the Mallards' garage.  By the time he finally picked up the phone, it was after 10 p.m.-- as the infuriated and somewhat scratchy female voice on the other end informed him after the call went through.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" the voice bellowed without so much of a hello.  "I need my beauty sleep!"

Launchpad had completely forgotten that Fenton still lived with his mother.  "Er, hi, Mrs. Crackshell.  Is Fenton there?"

"It's 10 o'clock on a Friday night!  What do _you_ think?"  Before Launchpad could respond, she went on, "Of _course_ he's here!"  There was a pause, then Launchpad heard her screech, " **FENTON!**   Get the phone!"

Mrs. Crackshell apparently hadn't bothered to cover the mouthpiece, because Launchpad could hear Fenton ask hopefully,  "M'ma, is it Gandra?" before he picked up the phone.

"Nah, some guy.  If he's selling something, tell him off.  And take that phone somewhere else!  I'm trying to sleep!"

After what seemed like an eternity, Fenton finally spoke into the phone, sounding much less cheerful than before.  "Hello?"

"Fenton, ol' pal, it's Launchpad."

"Launchpad!"  Fenton seemed to perk up again.   "How've you been?"

"Oh, I'm fine.  But D.W. needs your-- I mean, Gizmoduck's help."  Launchpad told Fenton about the odd advertisement in the paper, and about Gosalyn's idea.  "Morgana's already agreed to show up to help, but we really need you too."

"Of course I'll help!" Fenton declared.  "Gizmoduck would never turn his back on a friend in need!  . . . even if that friend _is_ Darkwing Duck.  I assume he doesn't know you're telling me this?"

"What do _you_ think?" Launchpad echoed M'ma Crackshell.

"I gotta a question though," Fenton said thoughtfully.  "Since when does Steelbeak do bank heists?  I thought he was one of F.O.W.L.'s top agents."

The thought hadn't occurred to Launchpad, but then he wasn't really the thinking type.  What surprised him was that it hadn't occurred to Drake either-- and that it _had_ occurred to Fenton.  "Erm, well. . . since tomorrow, I guess."

"Sounds suspicious to me," Fenton mused.  "I'll take the bus to St. Canard tomorrow morning, so I'll be sure to make it to the bank by 3:15.  Guess I'll see you there, buddy."

"Uh, Fenton, one more thing."  Launchpad may not have been the thinking type, but even he hadn't missed the depression in his friend's voice when he answered the phone.  "Are you okay?  You. . . don't sound like yourself."

"I'm fine," Fenton said quickly.  "Just kinda tired-- the military sure works me a lot harder than Mr. Scrooge ever did, even when I was keeping his books _and_ guarding his money bin!"

"Oh.  I'll, uh, let you get some rest then," Launchpad responded, even though he wasn't really convinced.  "I'll see you-- well, Gizmoduck tomorrow."

"Sure.  And Launchpad-- thanks for asking," Fenton said quietly.

"Well, you're the best superhero I know!" insisted Launchpad.  "After D.W., of course."

"No, I mean. . . thanks for asking about _me_."

\--

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

"I still don't see why I have to wear _this_."  Belle, seated in the passenger seat of an unmarked F.O.W.L. van parked at the First Bank of St. Canard, picked at the skirt of her slinky red dress.  "What kind of bimbo goes to the bank in a cocktail dress?  And a hat?"

"Don't ask me."  Agent Steelbeak admired himself in the van's rearview mirror.  "You're High Command, not me.  Although I t'ink the reason for the hat is kinda obvious, ah ah ah ah ah ah," he finished in a laugh.

Belle shoved the brim of the bright red  hat up so that she could turn the full force of her glare on the rooster.  "One more comment like that, and you'll be demoted to an Eggman."

"Yes, ma'am," Steelbeak muttered sullenly.  He pulled out his comb and began to restyle his, well, comb, but Belle didn't miss the dirty look he gave her.  Any of the other commanders would have reprimanded him for that too, but she actually didn't like flaunting her status in front of the subordinate agents.  _But if that's the only way I'll get respect from him, I'll do it,_ she thought morosely as she flipped down the visor on her side of the van to examine her appearance in its mirror.

The Eggmen concealed in the back grumbled and clanked around distractingly while Belle glared into her own eyes, uncharacteristically made up with maroon eyeshadow.  Her face was framed with a curly blonde wig, and her large hat covered the odd shape of the top of her head.  She had even put in a bridge of fake teeth to hide her own pointy ones.  Belle  pursed her beak, the end of which was adorned with lipstick.

The depressing thing about it all was that she actually looked. . . pretty.  Or at least more attractive, in a standard way, than normal.  _I break through the glass ceiling only to be stuck in a dress. . . and only to find that it's an improvement,_ she thought.

Two contradictory hopes had been conflicting in her mind, both of them now dashed.  One had been that the "damsel in distress" get-up would be a dismal failure, that the trappings of the women accepted by the patriarchal establishment would prove useless in making her appealing.

Barring that, she had hoped that Steelbeak would be attracted to her, and she hated herself for it.

Belle wasn't in love with him; that was a blessing.  But in spite of all his sexism, vanity, and egoism, she was as fascinated by him as poor Ammonia Pine had been-- and while Belle hadn't made the mistake of letting him know it, at least Ammonia got the satisfaction of making him pay for leading her on.  And at least he had flirted with _her_ , even if it was just to get her to do his dirty work.  (Or clean work, as the case may be.)

So Belle had reluctantly entertained the hope that Steelbeak might express some interest once she was made up like the kind of woman he liked.  But no-- apparently he was too aware of who she really was, under the makeup and the hat.

_It's for the best anyway,_ Belle told herself as she slammed the visor shut, not wanting to see any more.  _If he was at all interested in me, it might take me longer to get over him._

"Hey, Darkwing Doofus'll be here soon," Steelbeak commented, unaware of her thoughts.  "Hadn't you better get in there so's I'll actually have a hostage to take? Ah ah ah ah ah ah."

Belle slung the purse she had been forced to bring over her shoulder and got out of the van.  When she walked past the driver's side, she paused and leaned in at Steelbeak's window.

"Agent Steelbeak?"

"Ma'am?" he glowered.

"If I hear that infernal laugh of yours one more time, I'll shoot you myself."

\--

So far, everything was going according to Launchpad and Gosalyn's plan.  Morgana had shown up for some "quality time" with her Dark at precisely 3 o'clock.  After Darkwing rather desperately explained that he had a robbery to attend, Morgana had launched into a carefully prepared bemoaning of the fact that she hardly ever saw him.  As Gosalyn had suspected, Darkwing caved almost immediately and told Morgana she could come along-- provided she refrained from using any spells involving pudding.

Once they had arrived on the scene in the Ratcatcher, Darkwing told Morgana to hang back outside while he and Launchpad burst in through the front doors, hoping to catch Steelbeak in the act.  The sorceress didn't mind being relegated to the outskirts of the action, since it was actually part of Launchpad and Gosalyn's plan to keep them all from being attacked at once.

There was no sign of Gizmoduck, Launchpad noticed as he followed Darkwing to the bank's doors.  Darkwing fired one of his smoke capsules into the bank, then jumped in the midst of the ensuing cloud to make his trademark theatrical entrance.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" he crowed, tossing his cape back.  "I am the ATM that eats your debit card!  I am--"

"Yeah, yeah, we know."  As the smoke cleared, Launchpad saw Steelbeak leaning against the row of tellers' desks at the bank of the bank.  He had his gun drawn and pointed at a distinctly annoyed-looking lady beside him, while various Eggmen aimed other weapons at the rest of the bank's frightened customers and employees.  "You're two minutes late, is what you are."

"I got stuck in traffic!" Darkwing retorted.  He paused and looked around.  "Wait a second.  Something's wrong here.  Where's all the money?"

The rooster blinked.  "What money?"  His hostage (who seemed rather over-dressed for a trip to the bank, although Launchpad had to admit that he really didn't know much about women's fashion) rolled her eyes.

"The money you stole, you nitwit," she hissed, impressing Launchpad with her courage in back-talking her captor, despite the gun aimed at her head.

"Ohh, _that_ money.  Ah ah--"  Steelbeak started to laugh, then cut it short with a slightly choked sound.  "It's, uh, already in the van."

"And you came _back_ to take a hostage?"  Darkwing scratched his head.

"Well, uh-- of course!" Steelbeak declared.  "How could I leave this bee-yoo-tiful lady behind?"  The lady in question's cheeks colored perceptibly, and she shoved her hat further down on her head in a rather unfeminine gesture.

"Turn her loose, you F.O.W.L. fiend!" Darkwing commanded.  "Or I'll--"

"Dark, dear?"

Darkwing cringed and broke off in mid-threat, turning to the doorway where Morgana was standing.  "Yes, Morgana?" he said through clenched teeth.

"Are you having any trouble?  This is taking an awfully long time."

"Hey, what's she doin' here?" Steelbeak interrupted.

"We're on a date," Morgana said smoothly, gliding over to stand beside Darkwing.

"A date?"   The rooster stared at Darkwing.  "She's your _girlfriend_?"

"Obviously," Darkwing growled.  "Now where were we?  Turn her loose and--"

He was interrupted yet again by a raucous crash at the front of the bank.  Turning, Launchpad saw that Gizmoduck had finally made his appearance, bursting through the bank doors.

"Hold it right there!" he ordered.

" _What_?"  Darkwing spun around again.  "Where'd _you_ come from?"

"Aye aye aye," Steelbeak groaned, clapping a hand to his forehead.  "What is this, some kinda high school reunion? "

"I heard there was trouble," Gizmoduck declared, rolling forward to join Darkwing, Morgana, and Launchpad.

"There wasn't until _you_ showed up!" Darkwing snapped.  "Butt out!  _I_ was invited to this bank heist, not you!"

"He's gotta point," Steelbeak snarled.  "I didn't expect the whole super-hero brigade to show up."  He jabbed a finger at Darkwing.  "Just rescue the damn girl and get it over with!"  A second later, he yelped and clutched his foot, which had been deliberately crushed by the "damn girl's" heel.

"Gizmoduck, _you_ rescue her, while I capture Steelbeak," Darkwing growled.  "Make yourself useful."

"But you and Launchpad can't defeat him and all these miscreants by yourselves!" Gizmoduck protested and  gestured wildly at the Eggmen, who had started up a game of poker to pass the time until the higher-ups decided who was going to do what.  All of the customers and employees, save Steelbeak's blonde hostage, had long since escaped.

"Maybe _I_ should just rescue her," Morgana said impatiently.

"Look, this is _my_ city," Darkwing shouted at Gizmoduck.  "How many times do I have to tell you to let _me_ handle it?"

"All right, all right.  If it means that much to you, you can capture the villain, and I'll save the hostage."  Gizmoduck rolled toward Steelbeak.  "Unhand her, you--"

"Back off, bolt breath!"  Steelbeak grabbed the woman around the waist and turned his gun on Gizmoduck instead.  "Either Darkwing rescues her, or nobody does!"

"That's discrimination!" Gizmoduck charged.  "It's cyborgist!  It's--"

"Awww, shaddup!" Steelbeak screeched and fired his gun at Gizmoduck's chest.

Launchpad's heart stopped for a minute; even though he knew intellectually that the Gizmosuit was practically indestructible, it didn't keep him from worrying about the duck inside it.  But the bullet bounced off, leaving Gizmoduck unscathed of course, and he kept moving towards Steelbeak and the hostage.

"Yipe!"  The rooster yelped as Gizmoduck produced a wide variety of weapons from his suit, ranging from an Uzi to a bath towel.  "Here, take her!"  He grabbed the lady by the shoulders and shoved her in Gizmoduck's direction.

As Gizmoduck sheathed his weapons and scooped the woman up, she gave Steelbeak the nastiest glare Launchpad had ever seen.  "You'll regret this, _agent_ ," she snarled at him.

Gizmoduck wheeled out the door with the hostage in his arms while Darkwing faced Steelbeak triumphantly.  "Now that _they're_ out of the way, we can get down to business!"

"And _I_ can laugh again," Steelbeak muttered.  "Oh yes, indeed, ah ah ah ah ah ah."  He flicked his wrist to point his gun at Darkwing, then motioned to his thugs with his free hand.  "Eggmen?  _C'mere_."

\--

When Gizmoduck deposited Belle on the sidewalk outside the bank, she was seething.  Not only had the plan been frustrated by the fact that Darkwing Duck already had a girlfriend; she had gotten rescued by the wrong superhero, thanks to Steelbeak's cowardice.

_I won't have him demoted to an Eggman; I'll have him demoted to an omelet!_ she thought sullenly as she smoothed down her dress.

"You're safe now, ma'am!" Gizmoduck declared cheerfully with an old fashioned little bow that made Belle cringe.

"Great," she grumbled, then paused.  Maybe the original plan was foiled, but her efforts wouldn't have to be a _total_ waste.  She looked up at the organic beak of her rescuer, the only visible part of him that wasn't metal.  _There's a man under all of that armor,_ she thought.

Gizmoduck wasn't nearly as big a hindrance to F.O.W.L. as Darkwing was, but he _had_ interfered with their plans more than once.  Getting him out of his suit and eliminating him certainly wouldn't hurt things any.

All this flashed through Belle's head in an instant.  She quickly added, "But I'm not really safe!  F.O.W.L. has been stalking me for weeks-- I'm afraid they'll just capture me again."

"Stalking you?  Why?"

Remembering the Bruno/Launchpad fiasco, she said, "They seem to think I'm some kind of. . . I don't know, secret agent!  Maybe they've got me confused with someone else."  She ground her teeth and forced herself to put her hands on his metal chest and say, "Please, you've got to hide me!  If even one of those Eggmen escape, I'll be taken again!"

He covered her small hands with his large gloved ones and said melodramatically, "Of course!  I'll do everything in my power to help you!"  It took everything Belle had for her not to cringe at the sappiness of it all.  
  
"But uh. . . where am I gonna hide you?" Gizmoduck asked in a much smaller voice.  "I'm from Duckburg, not St. Canard!  I don't _know_ any hiding places."

_Duckburg, hunh?_ she thought.  _I'm getting information out of him already_.

"It doesn't matter!  Just take me somewhere-- private."

"Uh, look, maybe you should just wait on Darkwing to get--"  He was interrupted by a loud thud as Darkwing Duck was thrown against the bank's doors.  ". . . through," Gizmoduck finished lamely.

Belle had had enough.  "What the hell does it take to get rescued around here?" she shouted.  "I thought superheroes _liked_ saving women.  Or do you only save the pretty ones?"

"It's not that!" Gizmoduck protested.  He flapped his arms rather helplessly, then picked her up again.  "Okay, I'll find some place to hide you. . . I hope."

\--

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

After Gizmoduck spent a good half-hour zipping around St. Canard, looking for a hiding place for the "hostage," he ended up depositing her in an abandoned warehouse near the bridge on the outskirts of the city.  Spiders scattered across the dusty floor as Gizmoduck rolled in and set Belle down on her feet.

"Uh, sorry this is the best I can do," he apologized.  He produced a small whisk broom from some cranny of his suit and dusted off a wooden palette that rested on the floor.  "We can wait here until all the commotion dies down."

"Thanks," Belle muttered.  It took her a moment to figure out how to maneuver herself into a sitting position in the tight dress; finally she just plopped down in an unladylike manner.

"So F.O.W.L. really has you confused with a secret agent?"  Gizmoduck sat down on the palette next to her with a crash.  "There's someone else who looks that much like you?"

 _You have no idea,_ Belle thought.  Aloud, she answered, "I don't know.  Almost two weeks ago, two of   
those Eggmen tried to kidnap me on my way home from work.  I had no idea who they or F.O.W.L. were until they called that Steelbeak character and told him they had 'the woman from S.H.U.S.H.'   They weren't very bright, so I managed to get away from them while they were occupied with the video phone."

"My goodness!"  Gizmoduck looked at her with what she assumed was admiration.  "But how did you find out that they were from F.O.W.L.?"

"The one with the phone dropped it when I kneed him in the groin," Belle answered flatly, "but it was still working well enough for Steelbeak to figure out what was going on.  I heard him yell that F.O.W.L.'s High Command was going to have their heads if I got away.  I suppose they did, because I got home without them following me. . . only to have them track me down again today."

"Wow," Gizmoduck mused.  "F.O.W.L. must think you're someone important if they sent Steelbeak after you."

"What makes you say that?" Belle asked, rather more sharply than she intended.

"Why, he's F.O.W.L.'s top agent!" Gizmoduck explained.  
  
"I guess that explains how he managed to get the better of Darkwing Duck."  She folded her arms over her knees and stared down at her gaudy, impractical shoes.  _Yeah, right.  If he were a match for Darkwing, I wouldn't be involved in this charade._

"I'm sure Darkwing will come out on top in the end!" Gizmoduck reassured her.

"Are you and Darkwing friends?" Belle asked, hoping she sounded innocent enough.  She knew all about the rivalry between St. Canard and Duckburg's heroes, of course, but she hoped that Gizmoduck might know Darkwing's real identity.

"Erm, well. . . I suppose, on a professional level," he hedged.  It was pretty obvious that he didn't really like Darkwing much, but didn't want to admit it.

"But you have to have lives outside of being superheroes," she pursued.  "You're not friends when you're off-duty?"

"Gizmoduck is never off duty!"  _Gizmoduck needs to stop referring to himself in the third person,_  she thought dourly.

"But you can't wear that suit _all_ the time.  Don't you have a real life?"  As she said the words, it struck her how hypocritical they sounded.  Like _she_ had a life outside of F.O.W.L.

"W-well, I. . . fighting crime is a full-time job, you know. "

He didn't volunteer any more information, and Belle ground her teeth as she tried to think of a tactful way to get more out of him.  _I can't just keep asking questions; he'll get suspicious,_ she thought as she kicked off her uncomfortable shoes and stretched her webbed toes.

"It doesn't look like anyone pursued us," Gizmoduck said after a moment, breaking the silence between them.  "I think you'll be all right now.  Besides, I really should get back and be sure that Darkwing and Launchpad are okay."

 _Damn him,_ she thought.  So much for relying on the seduction scheme; he was more interested in getting in on the Steelbeak-beating action than in protecting her.  Not that she could really blame him; helping kick Steelbeak's tail feathers would probably make for a good time.

"Just a minute," she muttered, reaching into her purse to open a plastic bag inside it.  At least she had made plans for the event that Darkwing didn't prove tractable in revealing his identity.

"Ma'am, I really should be go-- hey!  What are you--" Gizmoduck broke off in a squawk as she leaned up and clamped a chloroform-soaked cloth over his beak.  A clichéd way to knock someone out, to be sure, but Belle was more interested in effectiveness than in style.

Gizmoduck was out for the count a moment later.  Belle leaned over him and studied his suit carefully.  At first, she had considered the possibility that he was really a cyborg, and the suit was part of his body.  However, she had referred to him taking off the suit, and he hadn't corrected her.  Unless he was a lot sharper, psychologically, than she thought, that meant that it was just armor. . . and that there was a living duck inside it.

 _But how do I get it off?_   She had carefully watched him during his brief encounter with Steelbeak, so she knew which buttons definitely produced weapons and special effects, instead of removing the suit.  However, he hadn't used nearly all of them.   Belle supposed that she _could_ just start punching the others, but that was too risky for her tastes.

 _Too bad there aren't any Eggmen around to do it for me,_ she thought grimly.  _Or Steelbeak, for that matter.  A good self-detonating bomb might improve his morale._

She finally resorted to pulling at various parts of the suit, to no effect whatsoever.  It didn't budge, not even revealing a single seam.  _There must be some trick to it,_ she thought, _some control that releases it.  But I'm not going to find it **here**.  _ Belle was beginning to think that the suit was impossible to remove, period, unless Gizmoduck _wanted_ to remove it.

 _So all of this was for nothing.  All I've learned is that he still lives in Duckburg._   She started to get to her feet, then her eyes fell on the sleeping duck's helmet.  She hadn't tried to remove that yet.

Belle placed her fingers on either side of Gizmoduck's visor and pushed it upward.  It moved easily enough, perhaps to allow him undistorted vision when necessary.  His closed eyes underneath the visor were large, and his beak was longer than she had realized at first.  She grasped the helmet firmly and pulled, expecting it to remain attached.  However, it came loose in her hands, uncovering the head of the duck inside the Gizmosuit.

He looked remarkably benign with his big eyes and rather long head, topped with a silly-looking tuft of white feathers.  She studied his face carefully, then looked down at the helmet in her hands.

 _I can at least take this to Beau,_ she thought.  _Maybe his scientists can figure out what it's made of._

When she looked again at Gizmoduck's face, it occurred to her how easy it would be to kill him right there.  But if she did, they might never get the suit apart; even if they could destroy his body within it, the suit would still be in one piece, ensuring that not all of its secrets could be revealed.

 _Maybe if I called some Eggmen, we could get him back to headquarters, alive, then--_   She wasn't even able to complete the thought before Gizmoduck began to stir.

He made only a faint moan, accompanied by a flutter of his eyelids, but she knew that he would be fully awake in a few moments.  He must have a remarkably strong constitution, or else the suit had somehow counteracted the chloroform.  
  
Belle got to her feet, scooping up her shoes and purse in one arm and clutching the Gizmo helmet in her other hand.  The Eggmen could never arrive before Gizmoduck awakened; all she could do was make sure she was as far away as possible before he came to.  
  
She stuck her formidable head outside of the warehouse and looked around.  The shortening fall days meant that the sun was already setting then, though it couldn't be later than 4:30.  She saw no one, so she bolted from the building and started to run.  She only got a few steps before her impractical attire made her stumble.  Swearing in frustration, she dumped the shoes in a trash can, then grasped the hem at the side of her dress in both hands.  She ripped the fabric along the seam, almost all the way up to her waist, then did the same for the other side.  With both legs free, she broke into a run again with Gizmoduck's helmet cradled against her chest.

\--

Belle returned to her apartment long enough to change out of her ridiculous disguise and into her usual red turtleneck and black pants.  Concealing the helmet in a bag, she returned to F.O.W.L. headquarters to report her failure to the rest of High Command.

"Present for you," she said to Beau when she entered the conference room where the other three were gathered.  She tossed the Gizmoduck helmet to him before sitting down between him and Commander Aquila.

"How. . . how'd you get this?" Beau breathed, turning it over in his hands.  She knew he was really impressed since he didn't make an effort to be sarcastic.

"I failed to achieve the original objective of the mission," she replied, glancing at Aquila and Chogan to address them as well.  "I was unable to ascertain the identity of Darkwing Duck, but I did manage to incapacitate Gizmoduck long enough to take his helmet.  And since I saw his face, I should be able to recognize him if I see him again."

Beau snorted, already back to his usual attitude towards her.  "Fat lot of good _that_ 'll do.  He could be anywhere."

"He lives in Duckburg," she retorted, trying to keep the irritation from her voice.  "We knew that he worked for Scrooge McDuck for a time, but this confirms that he's still based there and not in St. Canard.  It's more information than we had when we started," Belle said coldly.  "And you should be able to determine something about the composition of his suit from that helmet."

 She was almost goaded into also revealing what she had discovered on her own about Launchpad McQuack, but she decided against it.  A plan was beginning to form in her mind: McQuack and Gizmoduck had both worked for Scrooge McDuck, so presumably McQuack knew Gizmoduck's true identity.  He might even know the origin of the Gizmosuit.

 _Even though I couldn't get the suit off **this** Gizmoduck, if F.O.W.L. could get a suit of our own, we would be able to stop him,_ she thought.  She didn't want to share her idea with High Command just yet-- if it proved implausible, Beau would never let her hear the end of it.  _If I can find out where this McQuack is living, **then** I'll tell them._

"I'll add the information on Duckburg to our file on Gizmoduck," Commander Chogan  said, interrupting her thoughts.

"At the risk of sounding antagonistic, Commander Beakford, why _did_ the mission fail?"  Aquila tapped a pencil on the desk.

"Two reasons.  One, Darkwing Duck didn't seem to be interested in rescuing any hostages, perhaps because his girlfriend turned up at the bank with him."

"And the other?"

"Agent Steelbeak is a coward," she growled, unable to keep the animosity out of her voice.  "He almost literally threw me at Gizmoduck the instant he saw a weapon.  The last I saw, he was calling the Eggmen on Darkwing Duck."

Chogan's beak twitched in suppressed laughter, although the elder Aquila was able to keep a completely straight face.  Beau on the other hand laughed aloud.

"Nice.  I suppose I should have realized you weren't his type."

Belle almost lost it; as it was, the only thing that kept her from striking out at her brother was Aquila's  sudden comment:  "Oh yes, Agent Steelbeak.  We should find out if he had any success with Darkwing Duck. . . or if he failed miserably as usual."

"You three can contact him," Belle muttered, getting to her feet.  "I've had enough for one day."

"Oh no, you don't.  It's your turn to represent the Beakford family."  Beau stood and gave her shoulder a hard shove downward, forcing her to sit again.  "I've got to get home; Cheryl's waiting up for me."

"Fine."  Belle clenched her fists as she rested them on the desk in front of her.  Despite his excuse, Beau didn't leave right away; she saw him out of the corner of her eye, leaning against the wall to watch the exchange.

Aquila manipulated the controls, located under the desk, to activate the two-way video screen which High Command used to contact their agents.  There was a moment of static as Steelbeak's handheld video phone rang, then it cleared to reveal an exceedingly damp Agent Steelbeak, wearing a shower cap over his comb and clutching a towel around his narrow waist.  Belle quickly bent her head slightly, hoping he would think she was Beau if she remained quiet.

"H-high Command!" Steelbeak gaped, clutching a towel around his narrow waist.  "You know, youse guys have _really_ bad timing."

"If you would report in like you're supposed to, _we_ wouldn't have to call _you_ ," Aquila admonished.  "Commander Beakford informed us of your failure to fulfill your part of the mission."

"But he had an Uzi!" Steelbeak protested.   Raising her eyes just enough to see the video screen, Belle saw that he was studying her silhouette.  _Wonder what he'd tell them if he were sure it was Beau here instead of me,_ she thought.

"We're not interested in excuses!" Aquila snapped.  "I hope you at least managed to injure Darkwing Duck or his companions."

"Erm, well, I'll have to check with the Eggmen on t'at count, ah ah ah ah ah," the rooster laughed nervously.

"Do you mean to say that you _ran away_?"  Even the normally stolid Aquila was getting infuriated.  "Agent Steelbeak, I thought Commander Beakford was exaggerating when she called you a coward, but I'm beginning to think she was being lenient!  Failure is to be expected from time to time, but weakness is not."

Steelbeak didn't seem to have heard the last sentence.  "She said I was a coward?" he gaped, then he glared at them.  "I ain't afraid of nobody, much less t'at caped clown and his robot pal!  I just happen to like havin' my hide in one piece!"

"Then perhaps we should invest in a new top agent, one who can keep his 'hide in one piece' as you say _without_ abandoning a High Commander and passing up the opportunity to harm Darkwing Duck."

"L-look, I'll-- I'll try again!" Steelbeak stammered, less cocky now that his job (at the least) was on the line.   "Gimme another chance!  I'll fix it so's only Darkwing shows up this time."

To Belle's irritation, Aquila turned to her.  "Commander Beakford?  It's up to you."

Now that she was forced to speak, she raised her head and glared directly at Steelbeak.  "No.  Darkwing Duck would get suspicious if the situation occurred again, and there's too much risk that he'd learn _my_ identity, instead of us learning his.  This mission should be terminated."  Steelbeak glared right back at her, although he was far from impressive-looking having been disturbed mid-shower.

"And Agent Steelbeak?  Should he be. . . terminated as well?"  Aquila said it without an ounce of humor, although Belle wasn't sure he meant it literally.  Nevertheless, Steelbeak's glare dissolved immediately.

The thought did occur to Belle that a simple "yes" would solve a hell of a lot of problems at once.  However, she said in a low voice, "No.   He's too valuable to F.O.W.L."  She heard a short laugh from Beau's position by the wall; gritting her sharp teeth, she added, "But agent, you will cease to be of value if your poor performance continues."

"Oh, I'll perform for ya, if t'at's what you want," Steelbeak said, snide again now that he was more sure of himself.  The other commanders apparently didn't notice the double entendre that seemed so obvious to her.  That, and the challenging way he looked at her when he said it, made the blood rush to her cheeks, leaving her grateful that he could only see her silhouette.

 _He didn't mean it like that,_ she scolded herself.  _Stop over-reacting._

"Then I'll expect that the next time we give you a mission, you'll take the time out of your busy schedule to report your _success_ , instead of trying to conceal your failure from us," she said brusquely.  She reached over and jabbed the button to cut the connection, not waiting to see if the other two commanders had anything to add.

"Do you want me to wait here in case the Eggmen report?" she asked them.

"No, you've done enough for one day," Chogan told her.  "I wanted to run some stress tests on our servers tonight, so I'll be here if they call."

"Yes, get some rest," Aquila echoed.  "You seem rather. . . out of sorts this evening."

"I'm simply tired."  Belle got to her feet and turned away from them.  "Good night."  As she walked to the door, she saw that Beau was already gone.

\--

To be continued 


	4. Chapter 4

The evening had been fairly quiet at the Mallard residence before the doorbell rang.  Drake, who sported a bandage around his head but was otherwise none the worse for wear, was reading the newspaper while Launchpad attempted to help Gosalyn with the still-unfinished math homework.  Needless to say, not much was being accomplished on the long division front.

"I'll get it!" Gosalyn bellowed as soon as the bell rang, glad to be freed from the clutches of math.  She went the door and flung it open, then immediately pelted the duck on the other side of it with a hug.

" _Fenton!_ "  
  
"Erm, hi, Gosalyn."  After the initial shock, he gave her a little squeeze.   "I didn't know you'd be _this_ happy to see me!"

"She's the _only_ one," Drake muttered under his breath.

"Of course I'm happy to see you!  You're an accountant, right?"  Gosalyn grabbed his hand and dragged him over to where Launchpad was still hunched over her math book on the floor.  "You can do my division homework for me!"

". . . oh."  Fenton's face fell slightly, but he quickly regulated his expression and sat down next to Launchpad.  "Tell you what-- I'll teach _you_ how to do it."

"Well, that's more than Dad, Launchpad, _or_ my teacher could do," she admitted, making Drake grit his teeth in frustration.

"So, Fenton, what are you doing here anyway?" Drake asked in a barely-disguised growl.

"Oh, I wanted to check up on you two!  Last I saw, you were trying to open a door with your head," Fenton chuckled in between math problems.

"I had it under control," Drake retorted.

"Yeah, especially after Steelbeak ran away and Morgana turned that really big Eggman into a pudding," Launchpad added cheerfully.

Drake made a choked noise of irritation and quickly changed the subject.  "What happened to the hostage?  Did you get her to safety?"

"Erm, yes, of course!"  This time, Fenton was the one to change the subject.  "Look, Gos, you'll have a remainder on this one, because you have three left over."

"Ohh, I get it now!" Gosalyn declared triumphantly.  "Dad said I was doing it wrong when I had a remainder on that one."

"I think that's enough homework for one night, Gosalyn," Drake said in what Launchpad recognized as his near-the-boiling-point voice.  "Why don't you go get ready for bed now?"

"But--"  Gosalyn stopped mid-protest when she got a good look at his face.  "Oh, all right."  She picked up her book and trudged out of the room, although Launchpad suspected that she was probably going to eavesdrop from the kitchen, just to be sure she didn't miss anything exciting.

"Did the hostage give you any information?" Drake asked after his daughter was gone.  "It's not like Steelbeak to rob banks just by walking in and holding them up.  F.O.W.L. usually has much more elaborate plans than that."  His ire had apparently dissolved in the face of a crime-related problem to solve, for he hopped to his feet and paced back and forth in front of Fenton and Launchpad without any animosity.  "And it's not like them to take a random hostage either-- usually they only kidnap important people."

"She seemed to think that they had her confused with someone," Fenton told him.  He still looked rather uncomfortable, Launchpad noticed.  "She said they tried to kidnap her once before because they thought she was a S.H.U.S.H. agent."

"Aha!"  Drake faced them triumphantly.  "So that's it!  The bank heist was just a cover-up-- it was really the hostage he wanted!"  Then he paused and frowned thoughtfully.  "But how did he know she would be there?  He was certain enough of the time to put that ad in the paper.  And why would he give me warning like that?  He had to know that his plan would be foiled if _Darkwing Duck_ showed up!"

"Well, actually, it wasn't," Launchpad pointed out.  "Steelbeak and most of the Eggmen got away.  The only one we captured either didn't know anything, or Morgana fried something when she zapped him."

"Never mind!"  Drake waved him off impatiently.  "You know, I bet the so-called hostage really _is_ a S.H.U.S.H. agent-- and if that's the case, she's probably the only one who knows what F.O.W.L. is up to.  I'll go see J. Gander Hooter about it first thing in the morning."

"Right."  Although Fenton had perked up a little while engrossed in the math problems, to Launchpad he now looked more down than ever.  "Well, I'm glad that you two and Morgana are all right."  The short duck got to his feet.  "I have an early bus back to Duckburg tomorrow morning, so I'd better get back to my hotel.  You mind if I call a taxi from here?"

"Be my guest--" Drake began eagerly, but Launchpad interrupted him.

"Don't be silly!  I'll drive you in Drake's car."

" _What_?" Drake bellowed.  "The last time you drove it, you came back with one wheel and a hood ornament!"

"Eh, I'll be careful."  Launchpad clambered to his feet and put his arm around Fenton's shoulders.  "C'mon, pal."

"See you, Drakey!" Fenton waved to the seething Mallard.

" _Don't crash it!_ " Launchpad heard Drake yell as they left.

\--

"Thanks for the ride," Fenton told Launchpad as they got into Drake's car, after he had told Launchpad where he was staying.

"No problemo."  Launchpad was silent for another moment, trying to figure out what to say.  He knew he wasn't the greatest at having personal conversations, but something was definitely up with Fenton, judging from his behavior both on the phone and that evening.  Although Launchpad's bumbling sometimes made discussing sensitive subjects a disaster, he decided it owed it to Fenton to try to help.

"Did that, uh, hostage give you any trouble?" Launchpad finally ventured to ask as he steered the car through the dimly-lit streets of St. Canard.  "You. . . didn't seem to want to talk about her."

"No, of course she didn't!" Fenton said, so quickly that even Launchpad picked up on the fact that he was lying.  He suddenly remembered how Fenton had acted the night before, asking his mother if Launchpad's call was from his girlfriend, Gandra.  Maybe he was having problems with her, and looked on rescuing a damsel in distress as a chance to meet someone new.

"You sure?" Launchpad pressed on.  "I mean, she wasn't exactly, um, _pretty_ , but--"

"No, it was nothing like that," Fenton said with a little chuckle before he could even finish.   _He really is pretty sharp when he wants to be,_ Launchpad thought.  "She-- I don't trust her," the shorter duck went on more seriously.  "I don't think she's working for S.H.U.S.H.-- but I don't think she was an innocent bystander either.  I. . . I let my guard down and made a really big mistake," he finished in a mumble.

"Aww, don't worry about it, Fenton," Launchpad said, relieved that at least Fenton wasn't getting himself involved with strange women.  He swung the car into the hotel's parking lot and pulled into an empty space.  "It's okay that she got away, even if she really is up to something.  D.W. and I'll find her again, especially since we have a reason to use S.H.U.S.H.'s resources now."

"No, Launchpad, I--"  Fenton broke off and reached for the door handle to get out of the car.  "Oh never mind.  I. . . I can't tell you."

Launchpad leaned over him and grasped his hand, pulling it off the door.  "You can tell me anything!  We're. . . uh, we're practically best friends, right?  Well, except for D.W., but still!  You can trust me."

"Yeah, except for 'D.W.'," Fenton muttered, snatching his hand away from Launchpad's.  It was one of the few times Launchpad had ever seen him look really bitter about something.  "Okay.  But you can't tell _him_.  Promise me."

"Sure, I promise," Launchpad said, bemused.  _What the heck's so bad that I can't even tell Darkwing about it?_ he wondered.

Then to his amazement, Fenton abruptly dropped his head into his hands.  "That woman stole the Gizmoduck helmet!" he wailed miserably.  "She told me all that stuff about F.O.W.L. thinking she was a S.H.U.S.H. agent and asked me a bunch of questions, then she knocked me out!  When I woke up, she was gone-- and so was my helmet."  
  
". . . uh oh," was all Launchpad could manage at first.  
  
Fenton nodded, still covering his eyes with his hands.  "You can't tell Darkwing-- he'd never let me hear the end of it.  I can always get Gyro to make me a new helmet, but now whoever has the old one can probably find out all kinds of things about the suit from it.  And. . . and she saw my face!" he moaned.  "Now she knows who I am!"

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Launchpad couldn't stand to see his friend so unhappy.  "Aw, c'mon, Fenton, it's not _that_ bad," he tried to say convincingly.  "Even if she did see you, there're a lot of ducks in the world.  She won't be able to find out who you _are_."

"But what if she's working for F.O.W.L.?" Fenton protested.  "She was acting so strangely around Steelbeak, not like a hostage at all.  They could have been working together to trick. . . well, _all_ of us!  "

"Oh geez."  Launchpad looked down at the steering wheel and bit his lower beak.  Even to him, it did make sense.  _That_ was how Steelbeak knew where the hostage would be, so he could invite Darkwing to attend the heist.  Launchpad still wasn't sure why F.O.W.L. had lured D.W. there, but judging by the odd actions of Steelbeak and the hostage, Launchpad had messed up their plans by including Gizmoduck and Morgana.

But even if it made more sense now, Launchpad still had no idea what to do about the situation.  He was only good at solving problems that involved crashing into something, or just barreling through and doing what needed to be done.  More delicate, intellectual operations were Darkwing's territory.

"Maybe. . . you could ask someone else for help?" Launchpad finally suggested.  "No one else in Duckburg even knows D.W., so there's no way he'd find out."

"I guess I'll have to tell Gyro why I want a new helmet, anyway.  Maybe he'll have some ideas," Fenton shrugged.  "Other than that. . . M'ma and Mr. Scrooge would be harder on me for it than Darkwing would.  And no one else even knows about Gizmoduck, so Gyro's my only hope."

"Well, in that case-- wait, _no one_ else knows that you're Gizmoduck?" Launchpad blurted out.

Fenton blinked at him.  "Well, Webby and Scrooge's nephews do, of course-- but I was talking about adults.  I'm not letting the kids get involved in this mess!"

"I didn't mean them.  I meant. . . you never told Gandra about it?" Launchpad asked gently.

"Oh. . . n-no."  Fenton sighed.  "I just couldn't!  Gizmoduck was supposed to be a secret when I worked for Mr. Scrooge, and he's an even _bigger_ secret now that I'm working for the military!  I wouldn't feel right if I had told her."

Launchpad frowned a little.  Fenton had been in love with Gandra Dee for as long as Launchpad had known him; how could he care for someone that much and still keep the most important thing about himself secret from her?

"It doesn't matter now anyway," Fenton murmured.  "We. . . we broke up."

"You _what_?" Launchpad gaped.  "When?"

"A few weeks ago."

"But-- buddy, why didn't you tell me?"  Launchpad put a hand on his shoulder.

Fenton shrugged.  "I hardly ever talk to you anymore, unless I'm here on Gizmoduck business.  I know you've got a different life now-- well, we both do."  He smiled faintly.  "With Wingy and Morgana around, I'm sure you've got enough relationship problems to listen to without mine."

Launchpad couldn't help but feel a little guilty. _Poor guy. . . here I've been having the time of my life with D.W., and I never even thought about **him**.  It sounds like I'm the only friend he's got-- and I haven't been much of a friend._

He didn't know how to say any of that to Fenton, however.  Instead he asked awkwardly, "Uh, do you mind tellin' me what happened?"

"Not much to tell, really," Fenton sighed.  "When the army offered Gizmoduck a full-time job, I quit working for Mr. Scrooge.  Gandra knew I wasn't his accountant anymore, but I couldn't tell her what I _was_ doing-- or why I was working such long hours.  She started getting suspicious that I was seeing someone else."

"How could she think that?" Launchpad exclaimed.  "You're the nicest guy in Duckburg-- and anyway, you'd never cheat on her!  She must know how crazy you are about her!"

"I can't blame her, though."  Fenton looked up at him unhappily.  "I mean, if she up and quit her job, then was gone for days at a time-- I'd be suspicious too.  I did think about telling her the truth, but then I would have compromised Gizmoduck.    It's like. . . like I had to choose between her and him.  And I chose him, because Duckburg and St. Canard need Gizmoduck more than she-- or anyone-- needs Fenton Crackshell."

"You sure about that?"

"I. . . I don't know!" Fenton groaned.  "I thought I had it all figured out, but. . . I just don't know."

Launchpad put his arm around the shorter duck's shoulders and gave them a squeeze.  "Look, if there's ever anything I can do, just lemme know, okay?  I may be D.W.'s  sidekick now, but I'm still your friend too."

To his surprise, Fenton leaned over and hugged him tightly.  "Thanks."  He let go just as suddenly and started to get out of the car.  "I've gotta get some sleep if I don't want to miss my bus tomorrow.  Let me know if you and Darkwing track down that woman, okay?"

"Sure thing.  Night."

Fenton gave him a little wave, then shut the passenger door and walked into the hotel.  Launchpad watched him go worriedly.

"Gee, I hope he's gonna be all right," Launchpad muttered to himself as he started the car.

\--

To be continued


	5. Chapter 5

Fenton Crackshell was not the only unhappy avian in St. Canard that night.  In his penthouse apartment, Agent Steelbeak paced back and forth in front of an audience of three Eggmen who were seated on his sofa.  They had turned up to report on the outcome of the battle with Darkwing-- and to relate the news that they had managed to bust Norton out of jail but had still not figured out how to undo the pudding spell.  Steelbeak had taken the news that Darkwing had defeated them yet again surprisingly well. . . or rather, he hadn't reacted to it at all, which amounted to the same thing.  He seemed to have something else on his mind.

"A coward!" he squawked as he paced.  "What right does _she_ have to call _me_ a coward?  I ain't, am I, guys?"

"No, boss," the shortest and highest-ranked Eggman, whose name was Edgar, assured him, although he had no idea what Steelbeak was talking about.  He and the other Eggmen had long since learned to just agree with Steelbeak when he asked for their opinions, and to tune him out otherwise.

"Easy for her to say!" Steelbeak went on, as if no one else had spoken.  "All _she_ hadda do was stand there and look pretty, while _I_ hadda fight Darkwing!  An' how was I s'posed to know t'at the Paranoid Android would show up?"

The short Eggman looked at his companions, who shrugged back at him.  It wasn't worth mentioning that _they_ were actually the ones who had had to fight Darkwing Duck.  Edgar supposed that the "she" Steelbeak was griping over was the fake hostage, though why Steelbeak should care what she thought of him was beyond Edgar's comprehension.  She _had_ looked vaguely familiar, but Edgar couldn't place her.  All he knew was that she was supposed to get "rescued" by Darkwing so that F.O.W.L. could learn his identity.  And that, like most of F.O.W.L.'s schemes, it hadn't worked.

"So she runs off wit' t'at Gizmogoof, not even accordin' to plan, and t'en blames it all on _me_ ," Steelbeak fumed, "and tells me to improve my 'performance'!  Ooogh, I'd like to show t'at ice princess some _performance,_ ah ah ah ah ah."

The Eggman on Edgar's left pulled out his cell phone and began playing Angry Ducks on it.  They were obviously going to be there a while.

"I'll show her," Steelbeak went on in a growl.  "I'll show _all_ of 'em.  If I know High Command, they ain't gonna give up on findin' out who Darkwing is-- and maybe they'll start workin' on t'at overgrown Junior Woodchuck in lead underwear while they're at it.  I'll get in on t'at mission and find out who they are myself-- heck, I'll bring in the both of 'em.  _Then_ she'll see what kinda 'coward' I am!"

Steelbeak paused, and Edgar automatically piped up with a "Right, boss."  The rooster didn't seem to have heard, however.

"But what if they give t'at mission to someone else?  They all seem to have it in for me, so they might not even want me on it."  He seemed lost in thought a moment, then his metal beak opened in the grin that had always scared Edgar a little.  "But they'll _have_ to give it to me if I'm the only agent available.

"Eggmen!"  Steelbeak turned sharply to them.  The one with the cell phone quickly shoved it in his pocket.

"Yeah, boss?" Edgar asked deferentially.

"I gotta little job for you.  I want you to pay all the other high-rankin' agents a visit-- and make sure they won't be takin' on any missions for a while, ah ah ah ah ah."

"Oooh, you mean kill 'em?" the one on Edgar's right asked hopefully.

"No, you moron!  Just incapacitate 'em.  Heck, steal their phones so High Command can't reach 'em.  Just keep 'em from gettin' any missions, _capisce_?"

"I'd rather kill 'em," grumbled the Eggman.

" _No killing._   And make sure they don't see you!" Steelbeak added.  "If anyone can prove that I'm behind this, High Command'll have me out on the street.  Now get goin'."

"Yes, sir," Edgar nodded, getting to his feet.  "C'mon."  He motioned to the other two to follow him.  He wondered briefly what High Command _would_ do if they knew what Steelbeak had just ordered, but he didn't dwell on it.  He considered himself loyal to Steelbeak first, and the rest of F.O.W.L. after.  High Command didn't give a duck's tail feathers about the Eggmen, but while Steelbeak was rather fond of taking out his aggressions on those assigned to him, at least he was nice to them once in a while too.

The other two Eggmen went out the door, leaving Edgar to follow.  He paused, hidden by the partition that separated the door from the rest of the living room, when he heard Steelbeak take up his monologue again, apparently directing it to an invisible audience.

"A _coward_.  Hmph.    You won't be sayin' t'at much longer, babe."

_And I thought **I** had girl problems,_ Edgar mused as he left.

\--

Belle got very little sleep that night.  She spent most of it thinking about Gizmoduck and Launchpad McQuack.  If she just knew where to find either one of them, F.O.W.L. would be well on its way towards both eliminating Darkwing Duck _and_ obtaining its own Gizmosuit.  There might be some clue waiting to be found in the Gizmoduck helmet, but Belle was not the paragon of patience; she didn't know if she could make it through the days it would take for Beau to fully analyze the helmet.

_I can't just sit around and **wait** ,_ she thought as she lay on her back in her king-sized bed and stared up into the dark.  _They'll send some inept agent out to look for Gizmoduck while Beau pokes at the helmet like a caveduck discovering fire.  If I want anything to come of this, I'll have to do it myself._

But do _what_ , exactly?  She couldn't go after both McQuack and Gizmoduck at the same time, especially since it seemed that McQuack was based in St. Canard while Gizmoduck lived in Duckburg.  _Which,_ she wondered, _is more important?_ She finally decided on Gizmoduck; if she could learn where he lived and call the Eggmen to apprehend him when he wasn't wearing the suit. . . she could both stop him _and_ obtain a Gizmosuit for F.O.W.L., whether by taking the original or locating the suit's creator.  Once F.O.W.L. had a Gizmosuit of its own, it would be simple to eliminate Darkwing Duck, whether they knew his identity or not.

_I'll go to Duckburg first thing in the morning,_ Belle decided.  _I know what his face looks like, and I know that he used to work for McDuck.  I can do more there than those idiots under our employment can do from here._

She turned over restlessly to lie on her side, one arm stretched out over the empty expanse of her bed.  _And I don't know that I could spend another day at headquarters anyway._   As devoted as she was to F.O.W.L. as an organization, its individual members had been grating on her nerves.  She was almost ready to shoot Beau on sight; although they had never gotten along well, he seemed bent on mocking and infuriating her as of late.  Chogan as always was more interested in F.O.W.L.'s computers than in the organization itself, and Aquila. . . who knew what went on under that officer's cap of his.  Belle doubted that anyone really understood him, and his inscrutability was starting to irk her.  The Eggmen were practically worthless. . . and then there was Steelbeak.

"Oooogh," Belle growled, gripping a handful of her comforter in her fist.  Damn him anyway.  He was obviously only interested in saving his own tail feathers-- while collecting as big a paycheck as F.O.W.L. would shell out to him, of course.  _He hands me over to Gizmoduck at the first sign of danger, runs off and leaves the Eggmen to fight his battles for him-- and then complains when I call him a coward?  I ought to fire him-- maybe with a gun._   But she knew she'd never do it-- and not because he was F.O.W.L.'s best agent (which was quite a dismal thing to think about).

_I can't fire him because then I'd never see him again_.  She cringed at admitting it even silently to herself.  He infuriated her almost as much as Beau did, but she wanted him all the same.  She would never get the chance to act on her desires-- and she swore she wouldn't take the chance if she _did_ get it-- but dealing with him meant being constantly reminded of all the girls who _did_ get the chance. . . disgustingly stupid, simpering bitches like the one who had married her brother.  Like the ones Steelbeak apparently preferred.  It was torturous, and yet it was preferable to the alternative of having him out of her life forever.

_Either I'm a masochist or a failure as a feminist to want someone like him,_ Belle thought tiredly.  _But it doesn't matter. . . .  F.O.W.L. is the only thing that's important._   She fell asleep thoroughly convinced that she believed it.

\--  
Belle was awake again and at the St. Canard bus station by seven o'clock the next morning.  She bought a ticket from a gruff egret at the ticket window, then she slouched in one of the chairs in the waiting area, staring at the headlines in the morning newspaper: DARKWING DUCK FOILS BANK HEIST.

_F.O.W.L. High Command considers shooting self,_ she added mentally.

She tried to read the article attached to the headline, but gave up after skimming the same paragraph three times without comprehending any of it.  The bus to Duckburg was supposed to arrive at 7:15, but when she dragged her tired eyes up to the large clock on the station wall, she saw that it was already after 7:20.

"Guess the bus is running late," a man sitting a couple seats away from her said in a friendly way.

"Mnn," Belle muttered, then paused.  Something was familiar about his voice.  She looked at him sharply and nearly choked.

The pleasant-looking duck one seat over from hers was Gizmoduck's alter-ego.  He was much shorter out of the suit, but she knew that no other duck could have hair like that.  And the voice really was the same, although now it lacked the stereotypical super-hero deepness that he apparently only used  as Gizmoduck.

_Of course,_ she thought. _Somehow he knew about the phony heist, and he came here to stop it. . . and now he's going home._   Belle looked away from him before he got the chance to realize that she was studying him.

"Is it usually late?" she asked casually, hoping he wouldn't identify _her_ voice.  He apparently didn't recognize her appearance now that she wasn't disguised.

"I dunno.  I don't take it very often."  The duck straightened his tie and swung his feet, which did not reach the floor, back and forth.  "Are you from Duckburg?"

"No.  I. . . just feel like a change of scenery."

"Oh, well there's plenty to see!  You've heard of Scrooge McDuck, right?"  He rambled on before she could reply, "You've _got_ to go take a look at his money bin!  Can't visit Duckburg without seeing that!"  

Belle opened her beak but still didn't get a chance to speak.  "You know, I used to work for Mr. Scrooge," the odd duck said proudly.

"You did?" she managed to get in, praying that the blabbermouth would keep talking.

"Yup!  I was his accountant.  Boy, that's a _lot_ of money to count, lemme tell ya!"

A lot of money indeed.  Belle had a dizzying fantasy of what F.O.W.L. could accomplish with the fortune of the richest duck in the world.  
  
"You don't work for him anymore?"

"No, I. . . uh, got a better offer somewhere else. "  That was apparently the one thing he _didn't_ want to talk about, and he went on, "Course the McDuck money bin isn't the _only_ thing worth seeing in Duckburg.  There's the McDuck Museum, and the McDuck Botanical Garden, and the McDuck Recycling Plant, and. . . ."

_So you were McDuck's accountant, and you left to be Gizmoduck full time,_ Belle thought, tuning him out.  _Should be easy enough to find you-- and I won't even have to go to Duckburg to do it._   All of her fantasies of escaping F.O.W.L. headquarters through days of research in Duckburg vanished.  She still wished that she had a reason to get away, but it would be impractical to leave if she didn't have to.  _I can have his name in an hour using Chogan's search system.  We'll have him **and** the suit in a couple of days._

"Oh, hey, the bus is here!" Gizmoduck's alter ego said cheerfully as the large vehicle rumbled up.

"I'll, uh, be there in a minute," Belle muttered.  "I. . . want to buy a drink first."

"All right then, I'll save you a seat!"  He hopped to his feet and waddled over to the bus, carrying a suitcase which she assumed held the Gizmosuit.  Too bad there were other travelers scattered around the station; without witnesses, she could have taken the suit then and there.  Belle stood and approached a drink machine, looking over her shoulder to watch him board.

_He seems so harmless_ , she thought.  _He's the first person who's been genuinely nice to me in years-- and I'm a complete stranger.  At least as far as he knows._

_Yes, he seems harmless,_ Belle answered herself as she ducked around the corner of the machine, out of sight of the bus.  _And if he knew who I am, he would put on that Gizmosuit of his and kill me.  No matter what he's like as a civilian, he's still Gizmoduck-- and he still must be eliminated once we have the suit._

Belle waited until she heard the rumble of the bus grow, then fade as it started up and drove away.  Then she emerged from her hiding place and stalked to the station exit, wincing slightly when she stepped out into the bright morning sun.  As she started walking towards F.O.W.L. headquarters, Belle tore her ticket to Duckburg into tiny pieces.

\--

The End


End file.
